Hi girlfriend! Today we will talk about one of the most problematic steps for more than one of us: The Wedding Vows. In this article we will help you from start to finish so that you have your Catholic wedding vows ready on time.
We know that vows should come naturally, but even for the most extroverted public speaking is complicated. On your wedding day, nerves can strike at any time, in my case when I get to the altar I forgot everything the protocol, the father understood quickly and took the microphone away every time I answered, it saved my life!
What happened to me was that I trusted myself, I told them a couple of times that same week and voila, I thought they were ready.
So it is best to have the vows well prepared and practiced. There is a recommendation that we can make as a general rule: Write your vows with structure and be yourself. The structure will help you not to be difficult to remember them and spontaneity will help you a lot if you forget any part.
Having said this, we begin:
The wedding vows
What are the vows? When should they be said? Are they the same in all ceremonies? Who should write them? Can I have them with me on the wedding day? Don’t worry, all your questions will be answered at the end of this article.
When the last month of planning arrives, many issues and responsibilities begin to mix.
It’s time to do one last dress test, organize the distribution at the tables, solve everything that accumulates and, of course, write your vows but what are the vows?
Wedding vows are the promises that seal the engagement, so they must be said aloud at the ceremony.
Vows more than formality represent the will of couples to be united by more than just rings. That is why it is Catholic custom to ask if they accept themselves “in health and in disease”, it is the affirmation of taking responsibility channeled through love.
The good news of your Catholic wedding is that the vows already have three pre-established formats, you will only have to choose one form and practice it. But do not worry, you will have space later to say your own vows, such as at the reception or outside the church.
Many people choose to do it in civil marriage, but we recommend you leave it for the most special day, it will be worth waiting.
Returning to the subject, these are the 3 types of vows for Catholic unions, basically they are versions of the same phrase. Sometimes priests allow to choose, many others they will decide how to ask them.
Wedding vows for Catholic ceremonies
Boyfriend: I, (boyfriend’s name), I want you, (girlfriend’s name), as a wife and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful in the joys and sorrows, in health and disease, all the days of my life.
Bride: I, (bride’s name), I love you, (groom’s name), as husband and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful in the joys and sorrows, in health and disease, all the days of my life.
Groom: (Bride’s Name), do you want to be my wife?
Girlfriend: Yes, I want to.
Girlfriend: (Boyfriend’s name) Do you want to be my husband?
Boyfriend: Yes, I want to.
Boyfriend: (Name of the bride), I receive you as a wife and I promise to love you faithfully throughout my life.
Bride: (Name of the groom) I receive you as a husband and I promise to love you faithfully throughout my life.
Official: (Groom’s name), do you want to receive (bride’s name), as a wife, and promise to be faithful to her in the joys and sorrows, in the health and in the illness, and thus, love and respect her all days of your life?
Boyfriend: Yes, I want to.
Officiant: (Bride’s name), do you want to receive (groom’s name), as husband, and promise to be faithful in joys and sorrows, in health and in disease, and thus, love and respect him all days of your life?
Girlfriend: Yes, I want
How to read your vows so that they come from the heart?
After being clear about the examples of wedding vows, it is time for you to know how to say them or how to prepare for that moment of reading.
The first thing is to define which form of Catholic vows you will use.
The second is to be confident and serene, the only way to achieve this is to practice them to the point of exhaustion, even if they seem easy once they get up the altar they start to get complicated … believe me.
When they are mastered they can go to the altar more calm. Being at the top, the ideal is that you and say the vows to your beloved , do not recite it to the priest, or to the public, or to the air, look him in the face and say the words coherently, understanding what What do you say. Don’t repeat the words, this time say them.
Lastly remember to pause and breathe, we all speak much faster when we’re nervous, so focus on breathing and pausing. Better to take dramatic breaks than fire your vows like a machine gun.
How to make your own vows?
Now, yes, it’s time to get creative. If you have trouble writing your vows to your husband this structure will work for you:
Part One: Declare your love.
Declare your love at the beginning, with a phrase that identifies you as “Andrés I will love you forever” or “I realized that I don’t want to spend another day without you Ana” or a simple “Miguél, I want to tell you that I love you”
Part Two: Mention his qualities.
This part is where you tell him why, you tell him what makes him special, why you are marrying him. Basically why you’re choosing it, what made you fall in love.
Part Three: The Real Promises.
We say real because you have to promise things that you can fulfill, that are tangible, more than promises are commitments that you are taking: “I promise to be faithful to our dreams” “I promise to become better people”
Part Four: Projecting yourself into the future.
Almost finishing you can talk about future goals as a couple, where they will go, what family they will form. “I know we will have a beautiful family.” “I know our children will have more of the love they need.”
Fifth and last part: Talk about eternity.
To close your vows you can talk about “stability” and time. For example “I know I will be for you while you live” “My soul will be with yours forever” “I will love you all my life”
By making an appropriate structure you will be able to say your vows with fluency and spontaneity, because if you forget a part it will be easier to locate and continue.
Repeat your Catholic wedding vows over and over again, calm that with the emotion of that day there is no way that they sound memorized or prefabricated.